100:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,985There's nothing to tell!
200:00:55,985 --> 00:00:57,943He's just some guy I work with!
300:00:57,943 --> 00:01:00,117C'mon, you're going out with the guy!
400:01:00,117 --> 00:01:02,113There's gotta be something wrong with him!
500:01:02,757 --> 00:01:04,860All right Joey, be nice.(嘴下留情)
600:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,980So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?(驼背和假发)
700:01:08,993 --> 00:01:11,160Wait, does he eat chalk?(粉笔)
800:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,540Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
900:01:14,989 --> 00:01:17,324Okay, everybody relax.
1000:01:17,324 --> 00:01:18,686This is not even a date.
1100:01:18,686 --> 00:01:21,070It's just two people going out to dinner and-
1200:01:21,070 --> 00:01:23,051not having sex.
1300:01:23,461 --> 00:01:25,858Sounds like a date to me.
1400:01:27,727 --> 00:01:30,730Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,(自助餐厅)
1500:01:30,730 --> 00:01:34,007and I realize I am totally naked.
1600:01:34,007 --> 00:01:36,151Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
1700:01:36,151 --> 00:01:40,601Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone...
1800:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,706there.
1900:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,955- Instead of...?- That's right.- Never had that dream./No.
2000:01:47,955 --> 00:01:51,991All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
2100:01:52,428 --> 00:01:55,425Now I don't know what to do,everybody starts looking at me.
2200:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,354And they weren't looking at you before?!
2300:01:58,909 --> 00:02:02,087Finally, I figure I'd better answer it,
2400:02:02,745 --> 00:02:05,684and it turns out it's my mother,
2500:02:06,105 --> 00:02:09,052which is very-very weird,(怪异)
2600:02:09,052 --> 00:02:11,372because- she never calls me!
2700:02:15,527 --> 00:02:17,329Hi.
2800:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,710This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
2900:02:23,384 --> 00:02:25,349Are you okay, sweetie?
3000:02:25,349 --> 00:02:28,968I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine,(抓起我的小肠)
3100:02:28,968 --> 00:02:31,426pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
3200:02:31,426 --> 00:02:33,396Cookie?
3300:02:34,747 --> 00:02:37,307Carol moved her stuff out today.
3400:02:37,307 --> 00:02:39,267- Let me get you some coffee.- Thanks.
3500:02:43,636 --> 00:02:48,073No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura!(光环)
3600:02:48,073 --> 00:02:50,688No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
3700:02:50,688 --> 00:02:53,183Fine! Be murky!(继续倒霉去吧)
3800:02:53,183 --> 00:02:56,435I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hopeshe'll be very happy.
3900:02:56,435 --> 00:03:00,047- No you don't.- No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!(让...见鬼去吧)
4000:03:00,808 --> 00:03:03,645And you never knew she was a lesbian...(女同性恋)
4100:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,783No!! Okay?!
4200:03:08,783 --> 00:03:12,783Why does everyone keep fixating on that?(集中在)
4300:03:12,783 --> 00:03:16,003She didn't know, how should I know?
4400:03:17,343 --> 00:03:20,114Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
4500:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,398Did I say that out loud?
4600:03:26,237 --> 00:03:29,789I told mom and dad last night,they seemed to take it pretty well.
4700:03:29,789 --> 00:03:34,028Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., (歇斯底里) (哭泣)4800:03:34,028 --> 00:03:36,644"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren."
4900:03:36,644 --> 00:03:38,905was what? A wrong number?
5000:03:39,508 --> 00:03:40,425Sorry.
5100:03:40,425 --> 00:03:42,405Alright Ross, look.
5200:03:42,405 --> 00:03:44,403You're feeling a lot of pain right now.
5300:03:44,403 --> 00:03:47,105You're angry. You're hurting.
5400:03:47,105 --> 00:03:49,203Can I tell you what the answer is?
5500:03:49,203 --> 00:03:51,905Strip joint!(脱去,场所)(脱衣舞酒店)
5600:03:52,639 --> 00:03:56,206C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!(荷尔蒙) (有性需求)5700:03:56,206 --> 00:03:58,385I don't want to be single, okay?
5800:03:58,385 --> 00:04:01,811I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
5900:04:05,594 --> 00:04:09,810And I just want a million dollars!
6000:04:12,830 --> 00:04:16,826- Rachel?!- Oh God Monica hi! Thank God!
6100:04:16,826 --> 00:04:18,955I just went to your building and you weren't there and
6200:04:18,955 --> 00:04:22,409then this guy with a big hammer said you might be hereand you are, you are!
6300:04:22,409 --> 00:04:25,529- Can I get you some coffee?- De-Caff
6400:04:26,469 --> 00:04:30,245Okay, everybody, this is Rachel,another Lincoln High survivor.
6500:04:30,245 --> 00:04:33,909This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and-
6600:04:33,909 --> 00:04:35,228you remember my brother Ross?
6700:04:35,228 --> 00:04:38,487- Hi, sure!- Hi.
6800:04:45,984 --> 00:04:47,671So you wanna tell us now,
6900:04:47,671 --> 00:04:50,318or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?(伴娘) (不懂,four wet什么意思)
7000:04:51,522 --> 00:04:56,352Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.
7100:04:56,352 --> 00:04:59,185I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,
7200:04:59,185 --> 00:05:01,331and I was looking at this gravy boat.(调味汁瓶)
7300:05:01,331 --> 00:05:04,903This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat.
7400:05:04,903 --> 00:05:06,427When all of a sudden-
7500:05:06,427 --> 00:05:09,723Sweet 'n' Lo?-
7600:05:09,723 --> 00:05:13,911I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boatthan by Barry!
7700:05:13,911 --> 00:05:19,909And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:(有斑纹的,有条纹的)how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.
7800:05:19,909 --> 00:05:23,628Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but...
7900:05:25,634 --> 00:05:29,115Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering
8000:05:29,115 --> 00:05:32,864'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'
8100:05:32,864 --> 00:05:37,588So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,(有一点kind of,漂移,日渐疏远)
8200:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,271but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
8300:05:40,271 --> 00:05:42,144Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
8400:05:42,144 --> 00:05:45,584Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...(这件事就别提了)
8500:06:00,362 --> 00:06:05,305Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,and she's really not happy about it.
8600:06:06,433 --> 00:06:09,595Tuna or egg salad? Decide!(金枪鱼)
8700:06:10,625 --> 00:06:13,836I'll have whatever Christine is having.
8800:06:15,039 --> 00:06:18,677Daddy, I just... I can't marry him!
8900:06:18,677 --> 00:06:23,566I'm sorry. I just don't love him.
9000:06:23,566 --> 00:06:25,844Well, it matters to me!
9100:06:29,558 --> 00:06:35,041If I let go of my hair,my head will fall off.
9200:06:35,041 --> 00:06:38,805Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.pant 气喘pants 短裤wear the pants (妇女)掌权当家
9300:06:38,805 --> 00:06:40,848I say push her down the stairs.
9400:06:40,848 --> 00:06:45,998Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
9500:06:47,834 --> 00:06:50,880C'mon Daddy, listen to me!
9600:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,730It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me,
9700:06:53,730 --> 00:06:57,909'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.
9800:06:57,909 --> 00:07:00,908And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe?
9900:07:00,908 --> 00:07:06,599What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat!
10000:07:06,599 --> 00:07:09,230No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha-
10100:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,825It's a metaphor, Daddy!(比喻)
10200:07:13,117 --> 00:07:16,148You can see where he'd have trouble.(你看他也有些问题)
10300:07:18,170 --> 00:07:20,904Look Daddy, it's my life.
10400:07:20,904 --> 00:07:25,184Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
10500:07:26,503 --> 00:07:30,288Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
10600:07:30,288 --> 00:07:33,679Well, maybe that's my decision.
10700:07:33,679 --> 00:07:35,899Well, maybe I don't need your money.
10800:07:35,899 --> 00:07:39,267Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
10900:07:46,603 --> 00:07:51,408Just breathe, breathe.. that's it.Just try to think of nice calm things...
11000:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,150Raindrops on roses
11100:07:54,150 --> 00:07:55,830and rabbits and kittens,
11200:07:55,830 --> 00:07:59,904bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens...
11300:07:59,904 --> 00:08:04,081La la la la... something and noodles with string. These are a few...
11400:08:04,081 --> 00:08:07,148I'm all better now.
11500:08:07,548 --> 00:08:10,487I helped!
11600:08:11,233 --> 00:08:14,268Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?
11700:08:14,268 --> 00:08:17,147Independence. Taking control of your life.
11800:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,870The whole, 'hat' thing.
11900:08:18,870 --> 00:08:23,050And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey.
12000:08:23,050 --> 00:08:25,393Me and Chandler live across the hall.
12100:08:25,393 --> 00:08:28,232And he's away out.
12200:08:28,232 --> 00:08:31,353Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
12300:08:31,353 --> 00:08:34,728What, like there's a rule or something?
12400:08:38,596 --> 00:08:42,190Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
12500:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,035It's, uh, it's Paul.
12600:08:44,035 --> 00:08:47,444Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
12700:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,079- Who's Paul?- Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
12800:08:50,079 --> 00:08:54,545- Maybe.- Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
12900:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,897- He finally asked you out?- Yes!
13000:08:56,897 --> 00:08:59,565Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
13100:08:59,565 --> 00:09:01,207Rach, wait, I can cancel...
13200:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,824Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
13300:09:03,824 --> 00:09:07,680Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
13400:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,915That'd be good...
13500:09:11,561 --> 00:09:16,006- Really?- No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
13600:09:16,006 --> 00:09:20,644What does that mean? Does he sell it,drink it, or just complain a lot?
13700:09:21,244 --> 00:09:24,393Hi, come in! Paul, this is..
13800:09:24,393 --> 00:09:27,225... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
13900:09:27,225 --> 00:09:29,431Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
14000:09:29,431 --> 00:09:33,784I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
14100:09:33,784 --> 00:09:37,070Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...
14200:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,623A wandering?
14300:09:39,623 --> 00:09:44,032Change! Okay, sit down. Two seconds.
14400:09:46,921 --> 00:09:51,434Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. 拔出 睫毛14500:09:54,865 --> 00:09:56,469Hey, Paul! / Yeah?
14600:09:56,469 --> 00:10:00,364Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot
14700:10:00,364 --> 00:10:04,907over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
14800:10:04,907 --> 00:10:08,669Shut up, Joey!
14900:10:08,669 --> 00:10:11,449So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
15000:10:11,449 --> 00:10:18,436Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
15100:10:18,436 --> 00:10:21,328Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God..
15200:10:21,328 --> 00:10:27,273No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your-
15300:10:27,273 --> 00:10:32,276-big lizards...(蜥蜴)
15400:10:32,851 --> 00:10:35,882Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight,
15500:10:35,882 --> 00:10:38,660Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
15600:10:38,660 --> 00:10:42,185Yes, and we're very excited about it.
15700:10:42,185 --> 00:10:46,313Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.It's been kinda a long day.
15800:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,889Okay, sure.
15900:10:47,889 --> 00:10:49,351Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
16000:10:49,351 --> 00:10:53,148Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
16100:11:02,826 --> 00:11:05,686Love is sweet as summer showers,
16200:11:05,686 --> 00:11:08,912love is a wondrous work of art,
16300:11:08,912 --> 00:11:11,595but your love oh your love,
16400:11:11,595 --> 00:11:14,590your love...
16500:11:14,590 --> 00:11:22,043is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart.
16600:11:22,043 --> 00:11:25,769La-la-la-la-la- Thank you.
16700:11:25,769 --> 00:11:35,064La-la-la-la...ohhh...
16800:11:35,064 --> 00:11:43,029I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things,using a bunch of these little worm guys.
16900:11:43,029 --> 00:11:47,874I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and-
17000:11:47,874 --> 00:11:52,127I cannot feel my legs.
17100:11:53,922 --> 00:11:58,046- I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.- It's a beautiful thing.
17200:11:58,046 --> 00:11:59,635What's this?
17300:11:59,635 --> 00:12:04,353I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
17400:12:04,677 --> 00:12:08,911- Which goes where?- I have no idea.
17500:12:10,467 --> 00:12:13,603Done with the bookcase! / All finished!
17600:12:13,603 --> 00:12:20,529This was Carol's favorite beer.
17700:12:20,529 --> 00:12:24,592She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
17800:12:24,592 --> 00:12:27,876Hey-hey-hey-hey,
17900:12:27,876 --> 00:12:29,708if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
18000:12:29,708 --> 00:12:33,025Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.
18100:12:33,025 --> 00:12:34,302Ross, let me ask you a question.
18200:12:34,302 --> 00:12:38,789She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV-
18300:12:38,789 --> 00:12:40,596what did you get?
18400:12:40,596 --> 00:12:41,686- You guys.- Oh, God.
18500:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,864- You got screwed.- Oh my God!
18600:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,196Oh my God!
18700:12:45,196 --> 00:12:48,507I know, I know, I'm such an idiot.
18800:12:48,507 --> 00:12:52,989I guess I should have caught onwhen she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.
18900:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,289I mean, how clean can teeth get?
19000:12:55,289 --> 00:12:57,952My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess.
19100:12:57,952 --> 00:12:59,558How did you get through it?
19200:12:59,558 --> 00:13:02,949Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers,
19300:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,923- say her...- ...leg?
19400:13:04,923 --> 00:13:07,010That's one way! Me, I-
19500:13:07,010 --> 00:13:09,116I went for the watch.
19600:13:09,116 --> 00:13:11,035You actually broke her watch?
19700:13:11,035 --> 00:13:13,596Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-
19800:13:13,596 --> 00:13:16,716I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.(撕碎)
19900:13:16,716 --> 00:13:19,890- Ooh, steer clear of you.(避开, 绕开)- That's right.
20000:13:19,890 --> 00:13:23,285Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry...
20100:13:23,285 --> 00:13:25,593I know you probably think that this is all aboutwhat I said the other day about you making love
20200:13:25,593 --> 00:13:27,124with your socks on,
20300:13:27,124 --> 00:13:30,750but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju-
20400:13:37,356 --> 00:13:39,158Hi, machine cut me off again...
20500:13:39,158 --> 00:13:45,030anyway...look, look,
20600:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,747I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky
20700:13:47,747 --> 00:13:50,121to become Mrs. Barry Finkel,
20800:13:50,121 --> 00:13:53,505but it isn't me, it's not me.
20900:13:53,505 --> 00:13:55,946And not that I have any idea who me is right now,
21000:13:55,946 --> 00:13:58,511but you just have to give me a chance to...
21100:14:00,577 --> 00:14:02,063I'm divorced!
21200:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,461I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
21300:14:04,461 --> 00:14:05,463Shut up!
21400:14:05,463 --> 00:14:12,441You must stop!
21500:14:12,441 --> 00:14:14,998That only took me an hour.
21600:14:15,072 --> 00:14:17,270Look, Ross, you gotta understand,
21700:14:17,270 --> 00:14:21,088between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento.mento(不知何意)
21800:14:23,249 --> 00:14:27,000You, however have had the love of a woman for four years.
21900:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,949Four years of closeness and sharing at the end ofwhich she ripped your heart out,
22000:14:31,949 --> 00:14:35,643and that is why we don't do it!
22100:14:35,643 --> 00:14:38,966I don't think that was my point!
22200:14:39,197 --> 00:14:41,104You know what the scariest part is?
22300:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,544What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know?
22400:14:43,544 --> 00:14:46,798I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it?我的意思是如果你只有一个女人时该怎么办
22500:14:46,798 --> 00:14:51,810Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
22600:14:53,162 --> 00:14:56,783What are you talking about? 'One woman'?
22700:14:57,194 --> 00:15:00,746That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.
22800:15:00,746 --> 00:15:02,325Lemme tell you something, Ross.
22900:15:02,325 --> 00:15:04,413There's lots of flavors out there.
23000:15:04,413 --> 00:15:09,432There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla.
23100:15:09,432 --> 00:15:13,910You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream!(生奶油)
23200:15:13,910 --> 00:15:16,721This is the best thing that ever happened to you!
23300:15:16,721 --> 00:15:21,187You got married, you were, like, what, eight?
23400:15:21,187 --> 00:15:25,171Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
23500:15:25,171 --> 00:15:28,309I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.我真的不知道自己是饥渴还是欲火焚身？
23600:15:28,309 --> 00:15:31,748Stay out of my freezer!
23700:15:33,438 --> 00:15:38,510Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
23800:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,431What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
23900:15:41,431 --> 00:15:46,185No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.
24000:15:46,185 --> 00:15:50,475Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
24100:15:50,475 --> 00:15:52,404Isn't there?
24200:15:52,404 --> 00:15:55,795Yeah... yeah, I think there is.
24300:15:55,795 --> 00:15:58,647-What were you gonna say?
24400:15:59,399 --> 00:16:02,506Well, ever-ev-...
24500:16:02,506 --> 00:16:05,828ever since she left me,
24600:16:05,828 --> 00:16:08,994um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform.
24700:16:08,994 --> 00:16:10,665...Sexually.
24800:16:13,227 --> 00:16:16,234- Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...- It's okay...
24900:16:16,234 --> 00:16:21,828I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now.
25000:16:21,828 --> 00:16:25,073- Um... how long?- Two years.
25100:16:26,857 --> 00:16:31,587Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch!
25200:16:31,587 --> 00:16:36,228So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date?
25300:16:37,527 --> 00:16:41,421...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
25400:16:42,078 --> 00:16:48,680We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles,
25500:16:48,680 --> 00:16:55,226Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.(婚姻)
25600:16:56,918 --> 00:17:00,666Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi!
25700:17:00,666 --> 00:17:03,678That's the difference!
25800:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,731Grab a spoon.
25900:17:06,731 --> 00:17:10,205Do you know how long it's beensince I've grabbed a spoon?
26000:17:10,205 --> 00:17:13,865Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero'mean anything to you?
26100:17:17,798 --> 00:17:19,590Great story!
26200:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,069But, I uh, I gotta go,
26300:17:21,069 --> 00:17:25,757I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man,
26400:17:25,757 --> 00:17:29,483Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.
26500:17:29,483 --> 00:17:33,544Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here.
26600:17:34,946 --> 00:17:36,997Y'know, here's the thing.
26700:17:36,997 --> 00:17:42,395Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,...
26800:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,317who am I gonna ask?
26900:18:06,371 --> 00:18:10,673Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
27000:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,730- That is amazing.- Congratulations.
27100:18:12,730 --> 00:18:16,830Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.
27200:18:16,830 --> 00:18:21,567If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
27300:18:21,567 --> 00:18:26,108Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something...omelet n.煎蛋卷
27400:18:29,397 --> 00:18:32,881Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
27500:18:33,788 --> 00:18:37,051Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.
27600:18:37,711 --> 00:18:40,078Morning. Good morning.
27700:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,262- Morning.- Morning, Paul.
27800:18:43,262 --> 00:18:47,203- Hello, Paul.- Hi, Paul, is it?
27900:18:52,964 --> 00:18:55,785- Thank you! Thank you so much!- Stop!
28000:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,269No, I'm telling you last night was like umm,
28100:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,858all my birthdays, both graduations,
28200:19:00,858 --> 00:19:03,439plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
28300:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,631We'll talk later.
28400:19:15,074 --> 00:19:16,885Yeah. Thank you.
28500:19:23,475 --> 00:19:26,325That wasn't a real date?!
28600:19:26,794 --> 00:19:29,704What the hell do you do on a real date?
28700:19:30,923 --> 00:19:34,547- Shut up, and put my table back.- Okayyy!
28800:19:34,547 --> 00:19:39,185All right, kids, I gotta get to work.If I don't input those numbers,...
28900:19:39,185 --> 00:19:41,907it doesn't make much of a difference...
29000:19:44,890 --> 00:19:48,541So, like, you guys all have jobs?
29100:19:48,541 --> 00:19:50,437Yeah, we all have jobs.
29200:19:50,437 --> 00:19:53,871See, that's how we buy stuff.
29300:19:54,635 --> 00:19:56,484Yeah, I'm an actor.
29400:19:56,484 --> 00:19:58,914Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
29500:19:58,914 --> 00:20:01,627I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
29600:20:01,627 --> 00:20:07,245Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio,at the little theater in the park.
29700:20:07,963 --> 00:20:09,888Look, it was a job all right?
29800:20:09,888 --> 00:20:13,786'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'
29900:20:14,835 --> 00:20:18,890- I will not take this abuse.- You're right, I'm sorry.
30000:20:18,890 --> 00:20:22,757"Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
30100:20:23,550 --> 00:20:26,585You should both know, that he's a dead man.
30200:20:27,662 --> 00:20:30,428Oh, Chandler?
30300:20:31,988 --> 00:20:33,477So how you doing today?
30400:20:33,477 --> 00:20:36,168Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry?
30500:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,384I can't stop smiling.
30600:20:38,384 --> 00:20:42,476I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.(衣架)
30700:20:47,071 --> 00:20:50,650I know, he's just so, so...
30800:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,585Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?
30900:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,556Oh, yeah.
31000:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,882Well, it's like that. With feelings.
31100:20:57,472 --> 00:21:01,191- Oh wow. Are you in trouble.- Big time!
31200:21:01,191 --> 00:21:04,193Want a wedding dress? Hardly used.
31300:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,922I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here.(我想我们有点不知所以了)
31400:21:06,922 --> 00:21:10,478Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work
31500:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,471and not think about him all day.
31600:21:13,471 --> 00:21:16,316Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
31700:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,237- Oh, look, wish me luck!- What for?
31800:21:18,237 --> 00:21:22,553I'm gonna go get one of those job things.
31900:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,505Hey, Monica!
32000:21:33,505 --> 00:21:36,447Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
32100:21:36,447 --> 00:21:38,967You had sex, didn't you?
32200:21:39,692 --> 00:21:40,945How do you do that?
32300:21:40,945 --> 00:21:45,721Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex!
32400:21:46,129 --> 00:21:49,503So? Who?
32500:21:49,503 --> 00:21:51,310You know Paul?
32600:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,988Paul the Wine Guy?
32700:21:52,988 --> 00:21:56,384Oh yeah, I know Paul.
32800:21:56,850 --> 00:21:59,510You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
32900:21:59,510 --> 00:22:00,601Are you kidding?
33000:22:00,601 --> 00:22:01,992I take credit for Paul.因...而得到好评
33100:22:01,992 --> 00:22:06,446Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.[snAp]v.猛地吸住, 突然折断, 使劈啪地晌, 猛咬[5tE:tl]n.海龟遇到我之前他已有两年无法入道。
33200:22:08,846 --> 00:22:11,629Of course it was a lie!
33300:22:11,629 --> 00:22:14,389Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
33400:22:14,389 --> 00:22:17,590I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated
33500:22:17,590 --> 00:22:20,229than 'to get you into bed'
33600:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,197I hate men! I hate men!
33700:22:23,197 --> 00:22:26,770Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
33800:22:27,363 --> 00:22:29,085Is it me?
33900:22:29,085 --> 00:22:35,392Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
34000:22:35,392 --> 00:22:38,001All right, c'mere, gimme your feet.[5^imi]<口>=give me(或give it to me)
34100:22:44,401 --> 00:22:47,127I just thought he was nice, y'know?
34200:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,606I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
34300:22:57,599 --> 00:22:59,833- Guess what?- You got a job?
34400:22:59,833 --> 00:23:03,490Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!
34500:23:04,210 --> 00:23:06,407I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
34600:23:06,407 --> 00:23:08,308And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.(乐观)
34700:23:08,308 --> 00:23:13,745You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
34800:23:13,745 --> 00:23:16,649Oh, how well you know me...
34900:23:17,346 --> 00:23:22,224They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
35000:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,950How'd you pay for them?
35100:23:24,950 --> 00:23:26,352Uh, credit card.
35200:23:26,352 --> 00:23:29,028And who pays for that?
35300:23:29,028 --> 00:23:31,754Um... my... father.
35400:23:33,748 --> 00:23:37,876Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
35500:23:37,876 --> 00:23:40,171C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life.
35600:23:40,171 --> 00:23:43,666I know that. That's why I was getting married.
35700:23:44,383 --> 00:23:47,834Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
35800:23:47,834 --> 00:23:48,831Thank you.
35900:23:48,831 --> 00:23:51,107You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city.
36000:23:51,107 --> 00:23:55,349I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison,
36100:23:55,349 --> 00:23:57,312and I got here, and I didn't know anybody.
36200:23:57,312 --> 00:24:03,706And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself,albino n.白化病者, 白化变种windshield n.挡风玻璃
36300:24:03,706 --> 00:24:09,285and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.n. 用香料按摩
36400:24:11,463 --> 00:24:14,510The word you're looking for is
36500:24:14,510 --> 00:24:17,305'Anyway'...
36600:24:20,162 --> 00:24:21,510All right, you ready?
36700:24:21,510 --> 00:24:24,529No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready?
36800:24:24,529 --> 00:24:27,104"Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?"parachute n.降落伞
36900:24:27,104 --> 00:24:28,628Come on, I can't do this!
37000:24:28,628 --> 00:24:30,437- You can, I know you can!- I don't think so.
37100:24:30,437 --> 00:24:34,314Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything!
37200:24:35,312 --> 00:24:41,582C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
37300:24:42,752 --> 00:24:44,524Y'know what?
37400:24:44,524 --> 00:24:46,726I think we can just leave it at that.
37500:24:46,726 --> 00:24:48,802It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...(象征性的姿势)
37600:24:48,802 --> 00:24:51,045Rachel! That was a library card!
37700:24:53,006 --> 00:24:57,029Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..
37800:24:57,029 --> 00:25:01,743Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
37900:25:04,601 --> 00:25:06,516Welcome to the real world!
38000:25:06,516 --> 00:25:09,348It sucks. You're gonna love it!糟透了，但你会喜欢的！
38100:25:16,989 --> 00:25:19,105Well, that's it
38200:25:19,105 --> 00:25:20,366You gonna crash on the couch?你要睡在沙发上吗？
38300:25:20,366 --> 00:25:22,671No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
38400:25:22,671 --> 00:25:24,923- You be okay?- Yeah.
38500:25:25,989 --> 00:25:28,557Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor.
38600:25:29,954 --> 00:25:31,688What?
38700:25:31,688 --> 00:25:33,713That's Paul's watch.
38800:25:33,713 --> 00:25:36,164You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy
38900:25:37,729 --> 00:25:41,425- Alright. Goodnight, everybody.- Goodnight.
39000:25:49,389 --> 00:25:50,879Mmm.
39100:25:52,089 --> 00:25:54,503- Sorry- /- No no no, go-- No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
39200:25:54,503 --> 00:25:57,318- Split it?- Okay.
39300:26:00,834 --> 00:26:04,649Okay. You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um,
39400:26:04,649 --> 00:26:07,169major crush on you.肯定能迷死你
39500:26:08,153 --> 00:26:10,037I knew.
39600:26:10,037 --> 00:26:12,651You did! Oh....
39700:26:12,928 --> 00:26:16,492I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.geeky 令人讨厌的
39800:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,190I did.
39900:26:22,761 --> 00:26:29,549Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here-你是否认为如果抛开其他不好的因素，
40000:26:29,914 --> 00:26:34,980but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
40100:26:34,980 --> 00:26:39,361Yeah, maybe...
40200:26:39,361 --> 00:26:48,272Okay... okay, maybe I will...
40300:26:51,829 --> 00:26:54,209- Goodnight.- Goodnight.
40400:27:07,673 --> 00:27:09,326See ya....
40500:27:10,837 --> 00:27:14,263Waitwait, what's with you?
40600:27:15,892 --> 00:27:18,632I just grabbed a spoon.
40700:27:26,649 --> 00:27:30,147- I can't believe what I'm hearing here.- I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
40800:27:30,147 --> 00:27:33,305- What? I-I said you had a-- What I said you had...
40900:27:33,305 --> 00:27:34,919Would you stop?
41000:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,906- Oh, was I doing it again?- Yes!
41100:27:38,404 --> 00:27:40,634I said that you had a nice butt,我是说你有一个不错的屁股，
41200:27:40,634 --> 00:27:43,198it's just not a great butt.
41300:27:43,198 --> 00:27:45,964Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.它又没跳起来咬过你，你怎么知道不是了不起。
41400:27:45,964 --> 00:27:48,122There's an image.
41500:27:49,388 --> 00:27:52,232Would anybody like more coffee?
41600:27:53,268 --> 00:27:55,905Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
41700:27:55,905 --> 00:27:59,504- I'm just serving it.- Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
41800:27:59,504 --> 00:28:02,401Kids, new dream...I'm in Las Vegas.
41900:28:02,401 --> 00:28:05,368Ahh, miss? More coffee?
42000:28:05,368 --> 00:28:08,982Ugh. Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there?
42100:28:09,289 --> 00:28:10,640Go ahead.
42200:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,493Thank you.
42300:28:12,493 --> 00:28:14,351Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
42400:28:14,351 --> 00:28:20,770Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-
100:00:30,102 --> 00:00:35,100感谢F6论坛提供和制作中英文字幕水木TV_Friends版组织制作字幕翻译者: bei 校对:xfadder@smth
200:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,985没什么好说的！
300:00:55,985 --> 00:00:57,943他不过是我的同事！
400:00:57,945 --> 00:01:00,119少来了，你和那个人一起出去！
500:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,116拜托，和你交往的男人一定有问题！
600:01:02,761 --> 00:01:04,864打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。
700:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,987他驼背？既驼背又带假发？
800:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,168慢着，他吃粉笔吗？
900:01:11,646 --> 00:01:14,551我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。
1000:01:15,001 --> 00:01:17,337各位别急，
1100:01:17,337 --> 00:01:18,699这不算约会。
1200:01:18,699 --> 00:01:21,084我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且
1300:01:21,084 --> 00:01:23,065不做爱。
1400:01:23,477 --> 00:01:25,874听起来好像是说我的约会。
1500:01:27,745 --> 00:01:30,749记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，
1600:01:30,751 --> 00:01:34,029突然发现自己全身赤裸。
1700:01:34,030 --> 00:01:36,175我做过那样的梦。
1800:01:36,175 --> 00:01:40,627我低头一看，看见有一支电话……
1900:01:40,627 --> 00:01:42,732在那儿。
2000:01:44,380 --> 00:01:47,985- 而不是……？- 没错。- 我没做过那样的梦，没有。
2100:01:47,985 --> 00:01:52,022那支电话突然响起，
2200:01:52,461 --> 00:01:55,459而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。
2300:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,389他们以前不看你吗？！
2400:01:58,946 --> 00:02:02,125终于，我认为我应该接，
2500:02:02,784 --> 00:02:05,724结果是我妈打来，
2600:02:06,146 --> 00:02:09,093我感到很奇怪，
2700:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,415因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！
2800:02:15,574 --> 00:02:17,376嗨。
2900:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,761这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。
3000:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,401你还好吧？
3100:02:25,401 --> 00:02:29,021我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙抓起我的肠子，
3200:02:29,022 --> 00:02:31,481从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖子上……
3300:02:31,482 --> 00:02:33,452饼干？
3400:02:34,805 --> 00:02:37,365卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了。
3500:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,326- 我帮你泡杯咖啡，- 谢了。
3600:02:43,699 --> 00:02:48,137不要……别清理我的灵气。
3700:02:48,139 --> 00:02:50,754可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。
3800:02:50,755 --> 00:02:53,250好吧，保持晦气！
3900:02:53,252 --> 00:02:56,505我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。
4000:02:56,506 --> 00:03:00,119- 不，你不会的，没错，- 我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！
4100:03:00,882 --> 00:03:03,720而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。
4200:03:06,596 --> 00:03:08,861没有！！行了吧？！
4300:03:08,861 --> 00:03:12,863为何大家都围着这个话题打转？
4400:03:12,863 --> 00:03:16,084连她不知道，我怎会知道。
4500:03:17,426 --> 00:03:20,198有时真希望自己也是个女同志。
4600:03:21,789 --> 00:03:24,485我刚刚大声说出来了吗？
4700:03:26,325 --> 00:03:29,878昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。
4800:03:29,879 --> 00:03:34,120真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉，
4900:03:34,121 --> 00:03:36,738“我不能抱孙子了，我不能抱孙子了。”
5000:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,000那是什么？打错了？
5100:03:39,604 --> 00:03:40,520对不起。
5200:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,501别闷闷不乐了，罗斯。
5300:03:42,502 --> 00:03:44,501你现在很痛苦。
5400:03:44,501 --> 00:03:47,203我一肚子火,心如刀割。
5500:03:47,205 --> 00:03:49,303我能告诉你解决之道吗？
5600:03:49,304 --> 00:03:52,006脱衣舞酒店。
5700:03:52,743 --> 00:03:56,312你单身，有性需求。
5800:03:56,312 --> 00:03:58,491我不想单身的。
5900:03:58,492 --> 00:04:01,919我只想再结婚。
6000:04:05,705 --> 00:04:09,923我只想要一百万！
6100:04:12,945 --> 00:04:16,943- 瑞秋？！- 天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地！
6200:04:16,943 --> 00:04:19,072我到过你的住处，你不在。
6300:04:19,074 --> 00:04:22,529有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。
6400:04:22,530 --> 00:04:25,651- 想来杯咖啡吗？- 无咖啡因的。
6500:04:26,592 --> 00:04:30,369各位，她叫瑞秋，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。
6600:04:30,371 --> 00:04:34,037这位叫钱德勒，菲比，乔伊。
6700:04:34,037 --> 00:04:35,356还记得我哥罗斯吗？
6800:04:35,356 --> 00:04:38,616- 当然。- 嗨。
6900:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,806你想现在告诉我们，
7000:04:47,807 --> 00:04:50,455还是等伴娘来再说？
7100:04:51,660 --> 00:04:56,492婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。
7200:04:56,493 --> 00:04:59,327我在堆放礼物的房间里，
7300:04:59,327 --> 00:05:01,473看着船形卤肉盘，
7400:05:01,474 --> 00:05:05,047非常漂后的船形卤肉盘，
7500:05:05,049 --> 00:05:06,573突然间……
7600:05:06,574 --> 00:05:10,171有没有代糖？
7700:05:10,172 --> 00:05:14,061我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣”
7800:05:14,063 --> 00:05:20,064我自己都吓了一跳，巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。
7900:05:20,064 --> 00:05:23,784我一直都认为他很眼熟。
8000:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,274总之,我必须离开。我开始想，
8100:05:29,275 --> 00:05:33,025我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？
8200:05:33,027 --> 00:05:37,753于是我不知该走往何处，我知道你我日渐疏远。
8300:05:37,753 --> 00:05:40,436但是你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。
8400:05:40,437 --> 00:05:42,310好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。
8500:05:42,312 --> 00:05:45,753这件事就甭提啦。
8600:06:00,540 --> 00:06:05,485我猜他送她一台管风琴，她肯定不喜欢，
8700:06:06,615 --> 00:06:09,778金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！
8800:06:10,809 --> 00:06:14,021我要拥有克莉丝汀拥有的一切。
8900:06:15,039 --> 00:06:18,677爸，我不能嫁给他……
9000:06:18,677 --> 00:06:23,566对不起，我只是不爱他。
9100:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,844对，是我的问题！
9200:06:29,753 --> 00:06:35,238如果我没了头发，还不如去死。
9300:06:35,240 --> 00:06:39,005她不该穿那条裤子。
9400:06:39,005 --> 00:06:41,048我建议推她下楼，
9500:06:41,050 --> 00:06:46,202推她下楼！推她下楼！推她下楼！
9600:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,087爸，你听我说……
9700:06:51,088 --> 00:06:53,730大家这样评价我这一辈子：
9800:06:53,730 --> 00:06:57,909你是一只鞋……
9900:06:57,909 --> 00:07:00,908今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。
10000:07:00,908 --> 00:07:06,599我说如果我想当皮包呢？或是帽子呢？
10100:07:06,599 --> 00:07:09,230不，我不需你帮我买帽子。我说我是一顶帽子。
10200:07:09,448 --> 00:07:12,044爸，这是一种比喻。
10300:07:13,338 --> 00:07:16,370你看他也有些问题。
10400:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,904爸，这是我的人生。
10500:07:21,129 --> 00:07:25,411或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。
10600:07:26,732 --> 00:07:30,519我想我们已确定好谁要和莫妮卡住在这儿。
10700:07:30,519 --> 00:07:33,911或许那是我的决定。
10800:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,132或许我不希罕你的钱。
10900:07:36,133 --> 00:07:39,502等一下，等一下……我说的是或许！！
11000:07:46,843 --> 00:07:51,650深呼吸，就这样。试着想着美好的事物……
11100:07:51,651 --> 00:07:54,394玫瑰上的雨滴，
11200:07:54,395 --> 00:07:56,075猫嘴上的胡须，
11300:07:56,076 --> 00:08:00,152门铃和雪橇之类的。
11400:08:00,153 --> 00:08:04,331啦 啦 啦……还有手套……
11500:08:04,331 --> 00:08:07,399我现在好多了。
11600:08:07,801 --> 00:08:10,741我的功劳。
11700:08:11,488 --> 00:08:14,524或许这样最好，
11800:08:14,525 --> 00:08:17,405要自立，决定自己的事情。
11900:08:17,405 --> 00:08:19,128The whole, 'hat' thing.
12000:08:19,130 --> 00:08:23,050有任何需要找乔伊准没错。
12100:08:23,052 --> 00:08:25,393我和钱德勒就住在对面，
12200:08:25,393 --> 00:08:28,496而且他经常不在家。
12300:08:28,497 --> 00:08:31,619乔伊,少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子。
12400:08:31,620 --> 00:08:34,996什么？有规定不能吗？
12500:08:38,596 --> 00:08:42,190别再这样，声音很刺耳。
12600:08:42,463 --> 00:08:43,935我是保罗。
12700:08:44,035 --> 00:08:47,719天啊，6:30了吗？让他进来！
12800:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,355保罗是谁？调酒的那个保罗？
12900:08:50,356 --> 00:08:54,823- 或许吧。- 等等，你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧？
13000:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,177他终于开口约你了？对。
13100:08:57,179 --> 00:08:59,848终于被你等到了。
13200:08:59,848 --> 00:09:01,490瑞秋，等等，我可以取消。
13300:09:01,491 --> 00:09:04,109不用了，你去吧，我不会有事的。
13400:09:04,109 --> 00:09:07,967罗斯，你没事吧。你要我留下来吗？
13500:09:07,968 --> 00:09:11,204那样最好……
13600:09:11,851 --> 00:09:16,297- 真的吗？- 假的，去吧！是保罗，调酒师耶！
13700:09:16,299 --> 00:09:20,939什么意思？他是卖酒的，喝酒的，还是评酒的？
13800:09:21,540 --> 00:09:24,690请进！ 保罗，这位是……
13900:09:24,691 --> 00:09:27,524……各位，各位，他就是保罗。
14000:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,731保罗……调酒大师。
14100:09:29,732 --> 00:09:34,087抱歉，我没听清楚你名字。保罗，是吗？
14200:09:34,088 --> 00:09:37,375我马上就好，我去，去……
14300:09:37,375 --> 00:09:39,929神魂恍惚啦？
14400:09:39,929 --> 00:09:44,340换衣服！请坐，两秒钟。
14500:09:47,232 --> 00:09:51,746我刚拔掉四根睫毛，不妙。
14600:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,784嗨，保罗！ 嗯，有何指教？
14700:09:56,786 --> 00:10:00,682一个小秘密，莫妮卡其实就喜欢这样，你摩擦她脖子的同一个地方，
14800:10:00,683 --> 00:10:05,228反反复复，直到那里开始有点发红。
14900:10:05,229 --> 00:10:08,992乔伊你给我闭嘴！
15000:10:08,993 --> 00:10:11,773瑞秋，你打算如何渡过今晚？
15100:10:11,774 --> 00:10:18,764我应该在前往阿鲁巴渡蜜月的途中，因此没了！
15200:10:18,766 --> 00:10:21,659我懂，你没去渡蜜月。
15300:10:21,660 --> 00:10:27,608虽然阿鲁巴在此时……
15400:10:27,608 --> 00:10:32,613有很多……大蜥蜴
15500:10:33,189 --> 00:10:36,221如果你今晚不想独处，
15600:10:36,222 --> 00:10:39,000乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家俱，
15700:10:39,002 --> 00:10:42,528对，我们都相当兴奋。
15800:10:42,529 --> 00:10:46,658谢谢，但我今晚想待在这儿，我折磨了一天。
15900:10:46,658 --> 00:10:48,234好吧，当然。
16000:10:48,236 --> 00:10:49,698菲此，想帮忙吗？
16100:10:49,698 --> 00:10:53,496我可以去，但我不去。
16200:11:02,826 --> 00:11:05,686爱情似炎炎夏日中的阵雨般美妙，
16300:11:05,686 --> 00:11:08,912love is a wondrous work of art,
16400:11:08,912 --> 00:11:11,595but your love oh your love,
16500:11:11,595 --> 00:11:14,590your love...
16600:11:14,590 --> 00:11:22,043is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart.
16700:11:22,043 --> 00:11:25,769啦-啦-啦-啦-啦- 谢谢。
16800:11:25,769 --> 00:11:35,064啦-啦-啦-啦……喔…………
16900:11:35,064 --> 00:11:43,029我应该用蜗杆将托架装在侧面，
17000:11:43,029 --> 00:11:47,874但我没看见托架和蜗杆，而且，
17100:11:47,874 --> 00:11:52,127我的脚好麻。
17200:11:53,922 --> 00:11:58,046- 我想我们做好书架了。- 真漂亮。
17300:11:58,046 --> 00:11:59,635这是什么？
17400:11:59,635 --> 00:12:04,353我只能说这是个“L”型托架。
17500:12:04,677 --> 00:12:08,911- 是哪儿的？- 我也不知道。
17600:12:10,467 --> 00:12:13,603书架做好了！终于做好了！
17700:12:13,603 --> 00:12:20,529这是卡罗最爱喝的啤酒。
17800:12:20,529 --> 00:12:24,592她总是不用杯子喝，我早应该看出蛛丝马迹。
17900:12:24,592 --> 00:12:27,876嗨…………
18000:12:27,876 --> 00:12:29,700如果你再这样，我们就走了。
18100:12:29,708 --> 00:12:33,025对啊，请不要破坏这里的乐趣。
18200:12:33,025 --> 00:12:34,302罗斯，我问你一个问题。
18300:12:34,302 --> 00:12:38,789她分得家俱，音响和好电视。
18400:12:38,789 --> 00:12:40,596你分得什么？
18500:12:40,596 --> 00:12:41,686- 你们。- 天啊。
18600:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,864- 你昏头了吧。- 嗯，天啊！
18700:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,196嗯，天啊。
18800:12:45,196 --> 00:12:48,507我知道，我是个大白痴。
18900:12:48,507 --> 00:12:52,989她每周看四五次牙医时我就该了解，
19000:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,289我指牙齿能有多乾净？
19100:12:55,289 --> 00:12:57,952我哥正承受着这种痛苦，一副失魂落魄的样子。
19200:12:57,952 --> 00:12:59,558你是怎么熬过来的？
19300:12:59,558 --> 00:13:02,949你可以不小心砸烂她贵着的东西，如她的……
19400:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,923- 她的……- ……腿？
19500:13:04,923 --> 00:13:07,010这样也不赖！我……
19600:13:07,010 --> 00:13:09,116我砸烂了她的表。
19700:13:09,116 --> 00:13:11,035你真的砸烂过她的表？
19800:13:11,035 --> 00:13:13,596哇！我做过的最坏的事情是，
19900:13:13,596 --> 00:13:16,716我撕碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴巾。
20000:13:16,716 --> 00:13:19,890- 嗯，机智脱身。- 对啊。
20100:13:19,890 --> 00:13:23,285巴瑞，真是对不起。
20200:13:23,285 --> 00:13:25,593你一定认为此事与我那次说的话有关，关于你做爱时，
20300:13:25,593 --> 00:13:27,124穿着袜子，
20400:13:27,124 --> 00:13:30,750其实不是，问题出在我身上，我……
20500:13:37,356 --> 00:13:39,158答录机又把我挂断了。
20600:13:39,158 --> 00:13:45,030不管怎样……瞧瞧，瞧瞧，
20700:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,747我知道某个女孩会不可思议的，
20800:13:47,747 --> 00:13:50,121成为凡可·巴瑞太太，
20900:13:50,121 --> 00:13:53,505但那不是我，不是我。
21000:13:53,505 --> 00:13:55,946而我现在连我自己是谁都不知道，
21100:13:55,946 --> 00:13:58,511但你还应该给我一个机会向你……
21200:14:00,577 --> 00:14:02,063我离婚啦！
21300:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,461我才26岁就离婚啦！
21400:14:04,461 --> 00:14:05,463闭嘴！
21500:14:05,463 --> 00:14:12,441你还是停下来吧！
21600:14:12,441 --> 00:14:14,998我才花了一小时。
21700:14:15,072 --> 00:14:17,270看啊，罗斯，你应该理解，
21800:14:17,270 --> 00:14:21,088我们认识不是太久，
21900:14:23,249 --> 00:14:27,000但你和一个女人相爱已经四年了，
22000:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,949四年的封闭和分享，最后她把你的心都麻醉了，
22100:14:31,949 --> 00:14:35,643这就是我们为什么不这样做！
22200:14:35,643 --> 00:14:38,966这还不是最重要的！
22300:14:39,197 --> 00:14:41,104你知道最可怕的是什么？
22400:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,544万一每个人一生只有一个女人怎么办？
22500:14:43,544 --> 00:14:46,798我的意思是如果你只有一个女人时该怎么办？
22600:14:46,798 --> 00:14:51,810不幸地我唯一的女人爱的是……她
22700:14:53,162 --> 00:14:56,783你在说什么？一个女人。
22800:14:57,194 --> 00:15:00,746那就像在说你只能吃一种口味的冰淇淋，
22900:15:00,746 --> 00:15:02,325罗斯，告诉你吧，
23000:15:02,325 --> 00:15:04,413冰淇淋的口种有千百种。
23100:15:04,413 --> 00:15:09,432有各种点心糖果冰淇淋……
23200:15:09,432 --> 00:15:13,910你可以加上小糖条或是核果，或是奶油，
23300:15:13,910 --> 00:15:16,721这是你一生中最美好的事。
23400:15:16,721 --> 00:15:21,187你八岁时就结婚了吧？
23500:15:21,187 --> 00:15:25,171欢迎来到世界！ 抓住勺子！
23600:15:25,171 --> 00:15:28,309我真的不知道自己是饥渴还是欲火焚身？
23700:15:28,309 --> 00:15:31,748那么就别碰我家的冰箱。
23800:15:33,438 --> 00:15:36,010自从她甩掉我之后我，
23900:15:36,012 --> 00:15:41,431什么？…………什么，你打算边嚼面条边讲？
24000:15:41,431 --> 00:15:46,185不，这就像是”第五次约会真情告白”
24100:15:46,185 --> 00:15:50,475有第五次约会？
24200:15:50,475 --> 00:15:52,404不需要吗？
24300:15:52,404 --> 00:15:55,795需要，我想需要的。
24400:15:55,795 --> 00:15:58,647你刚才想说什么？
24500:15:59,399 --> 00:16:02,506这个……呃……
24600:16:02,506 --> 00:16:05,828自从她离开后，
24700:16:05,828 --> 00:16:08,994我就一直无法……没做过……
24800:16:08,994 --> 00:16:10,665……性方面的……
24900:16:13,227 --> 00:16:16,234- 天啊，天啊，对不起，对不起。- 没关系……
25000:16:16,234 --> 00:16:21,828你现在需要的应该不是让人吐口水吧。
25100:16:21,828 --> 00:16:25,073- 多久了？- 两年了。
25200:16:26,857 --> 00:16:31,587哇！真高兴你砸烂了她的表！
25300:16:31,587 --> 00:16:36,228你还想要第五次约会？
25400:16:37,527 --> 00:16:41,421……当然想。
25500:16:42,078 --> 00:16:48,680我们今天来这里参加乔安妮·路易丝·坎宁安和查尔斯·
25600:16:48,680 --> 00:16:55,226恰棋-恰棋-恰棋·阿可勒的神圣婚礼。
25700:16:56,918 --> 00:17:00,666喔……看……乔安妮爱的是恰棋。
25800:17:00,666 --> 00:17:03,678差别就在这儿！
25900:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,731抓住勺子。
26000:17:06,731 --> 00:17:10,205知道我等着“抓这把勺子”等了多久吗？
26100:17:10,205 --> 00:17:13,865你对”此尔，别逞英雄”这句话有感觉吗？
26200:17:17,798 --> 00:17:19,590非常对不起！
26300:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,069但我要走了，
26400:17:21,069 --> 00:17:25,757我有个约会，和安德里亚……安吉拉……安德里亚……嗨，
26500:17:25,757 --> 00:17:29,483安吉拉喜欢尖叫，安德里亚养猫。
26600:17:29,483 --> 00:17:33,544对。谢谢。六月份了。我走了。
26700:17:34,946 --> 00:17:36,997是这样的。
26800:17:36,997 --> 00:17:42,395就算我鼓起勇气约女人出去，
26900:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,317但我要约谁呀？
27000:18:06,371 --> 00:18:10,673神奇吧？我这辈子从没泡过咖啡。
27100:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,730- 真神奇。- 恭喜了。
27200:18:12,730 --> 00:18:16,830你看，我觉得只要我会泡咖啡，就没有什么不行。
27300:18:16,830 --> 00:18:21,567如果能侵入波兰，就能征服一切。
27400:18:21,567 --> 00:18:26,108如果你兴致大发想做蛋饼，
27500:18:29,397 --> 00:18:32,881老实说我不太饿……
27600:18:33,788 --> 00:18:37,051好啊，Lenny和Squigy来啦。
27700:18:37,711 --> 00:18:40,078早安。早安。
27800:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,262- 早安。- 早安，保罗。
27900:18:43,262 --> 00:18:47,203- 你好，保罗。- 嗨，保罗，是吗？？
28000:18:52,964 --> 00:18:55,785- 谢谢你！太谢谢你了！- 好了！
28100:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,269不行，我要告诉你昨晚就像
28200:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,858我所有的生日，毕业典礼，
28300:19:00,858 --> 00:19:03,439和谷仓收获季节加在一起一样。
28400:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,631晚点打电话。
28500:19:15,074 --> 00:19:16,885好。谢谢。
28600:19:23,475 --> 00:19:26,325那还不叫约会？！
28700:19:26,794 --> 00:19:29,704那你真正的约会到底干些什么？
28800:19:30,923 --> 00:19:34,547- 闭嘴，把桌子抬回去。- 好吧！
28900:19:34,547 --> 00:19:39,185孩子们，我要上班去了。如果我不输入那些数字……
29000:19:39,185 --> 00:19:41,907也没什么关系……
29100:19:44,890 --> 00:19:48,541你们大伙儿都有工作？
29200:19:48,541 --> 00:19:50,437对，我们都有工作。
29300:19:50,437 --> 00:19:53,871这样才有钱买东西。
29400:19:54,635 --> 00:19:56,484对，我是个演员。
29500:19:56,484 --> 00:19:58,914我见过你吗？？
29600:19:58,914 --> 00:20:01,627大概没见过吧。我大部份都是在地区性的节目中演出。
29700:20:01,627 --> 00:20:07,245等等，除非你看过小木偶的重播。
29800:20:07,963 --> 00:20:09,888这也算是工作吧？
29900:20:09,888 --> 00:20:13,786瞧，盖佩多，我是个活生生的小男孩。
30000:20:14,835 --> 00:20:18,890- 我不会理睬这种羞辱。- 你说得对，抱歉。
30100:20:18,890 --> 00:20:22,757"我曾是个小木偶……小木偶……"
30200:20:23,550 --> 00:20:26,585告诉你们，他死定了。
30300:20:27,662 --> 00:20:30,428嗨，钱德勒？
30400:20:31,988 --> 00:20:33,477今天感觉如何？
30500:20:33,477 --> 00:20:36,168睡得还好吧？和巴瑞通过电话吗？
30600:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,384我无法停止笑。
30700:20:38,384 --> 00:20:42,476我看得出来。你这样子像是昨晚口中含着衣架睡觉。
30800:20:47,071 --> 00:20:50,650我知道，他是那么……
30900:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,585还记得你和东尼戴马克？
31000:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,556记得。
31100:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,882就像那样。那样感觉。
31200:20:57,472 --> 00:21:01,191- 你惹上麻烦了。- 大麻烦！
31300:21:01,191 --> 00:21:04,193需要婚纱吗？几乎没用过的。
31400:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,922我想我们有点不知所以了。
31500:21:06,922 --> 00:21:10,478我要清醒，去工作。
31600:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,471整天都不想他，
31700:21:13,471 --> 00:21:16,316或者只是清醒然后去工作。
31800:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,237- 祝我幸运！- 为什么？
31900:21:18,237 --> 00:21:22,553我要去找工作。
32000:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,505嗨，莫妮卡！
32100:21:33,505 --> 00:21:36,447法兰妮，欢迎回来！佛罗里达如何？
32200:21:36,447 --> 00:21:38,967你们上床了，对不？
32300:21:39,692 --> 00:21:40,945你怎么看出来的？
32400:21:40,945 --> 00:21:45,721哦，我恨你，我推着我的洛兹阿姨经过帕罗丛林，你却在做爱！
32500:21:46,129 --> 00:21:49,503和谁呀？
32600:21:49,503 --> 00:21:51,310认识保罗吗？
32700:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,988保罗，那个调酒的？
32800:21:52,988 --> 00:21:56,384对，我认识保罗。
32900:21:56,850 --> 00:21:59,510你认识保罗像我认识他一样？
33000:21:59,510 --> 00:22:00,601爱说笑，
33100:22:00,601 --> 00:22:01,992他还得谢我呢。
33200:22:01,992 --> 00:22:06,446遇到我之前他已有两年无法入道。
33300:22:08,846 --> 00:22:11,629显然他是骗你的！
33400:22:11,629 --> 00:22:14,389为什么？为什么会有人那样做？
33500:22:14,389 --> 00:22:17,590我想答案比
33600:22:17,590 --> 00:22:20,229”设法骗你上床”更复杂。
33700:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,197我恨男人！我恨男人！
33800:22:23,197 --> 00:22:26,770不，别恨，你也不想把他们丢出宇宙吧。
33900:22:27,363 --> 00:22:29,085问题出在我身上？
34000:22:29,085 --> 00:22:35,392难道我有特殊气味。只有狗和感情有严着问题的男人才闻得到。
34100:22:35,392 --> 00:22:38,001过来，脚给我。
34200:22:44,401 --> 00:22:47,127我以为他是个好男人。
34300:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,606我无法相信你不懂这是骗局。
34400:22:57,599 --> 00:22:59,833- 猜猜看？- 你找到工作了？
34500:22:59,833 --> 00:23:03,490开玩笑？ 我书都白念了！
34600:23:04,210 --> 00:23:06,407今天的十二个面试全泡汤了。
34700:23:06,407 --> 00:23:08,308不过你却异常兴奋。
34800:23:08,308 --> 00:23:13,745换成是你，你也会一样。如果你遇见John and David的皮靴打五折。
34900:23:13,745 --> 00:23:16,649你真是太了解我了。
35000:23:17,346 --> 00:23:22,224这是我的新皮靴，我不需要工作，不需要父母，因为我有新皮靴！
35100:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,950你怎么付钱？
35200:23:24,950 --> 00:23:26,352信用卡啊。
35300:23:26,352 --> 00:23:29,028卡费谁费？
35400:23:29,028 --> 00:23:31,754我爸。
35500:23:33,748 --> 00:23:37,876天啊，好啦，有必要吗？我是说，我可以随时忍住挥霍的。
35600:23:37,876 --> 00:23:40,171成熟点，你不能靠你爸一辈子。
35700:23:40,171 --> 00:23:43,666我知道，所以我选择结婚。
35800:23:44,383 --> 00:23:47,834饶了她吧，第一次独立并不轻松。
35900:23:47,834 --> 00:23:48,831谢谢。
36000:23:48,831 --> 00:23:51,107不客气。我记得我第一次来到纽约时的情况，
36100:23:51,107 --> 00:23:55,349当时我十四岁，我妈刚自杀，我继父再度入狱，
36200:23:55,349 --> 00:23:57,312我在这儿人生地不熟。
36300:23:57,312 --> 00:24:03,706最后我和患白化症的男人同居。他为港务局的人清洗车窗。后来他自杀了。
36400:24:03,706 --> 00:24:09,285然后我找到芳香按摩治疗的工作。所以请相信我你的心情我能体会。
36500:24:11,463 --> 00:24:14,510你需要的是，
36600:24:14,510 --> 00:24:17,305“无论如何”……
36700:24:20,162 --> 00:24:21,510好的，准备好了吗？
36800:24:21,510 --> 00:24:24,529不。不，不，我没准备好！我怎么会准备好呢？
36900:24:24,529 --> 00:24:27,104嗨，瑞秋！你准备好不用降落伞跳出飞机吗？
37000:24:27,104 --> 00:24:28,628不行，我不行！
37100:24:28,628 --> 00:24:30,437- 你能行的, 我知道你能行！- 我不觉得.
37200:24:30,437 --> 00:24:34,314来吧，你会泡咖啡！你就什么都可以！
37300:24:35,312 --> 00:24:41,582来，剪，剪，剪，剪……
37400:24:42,752 --> 00:24:44,524你们知道吗？
37500:24:44,524 --> 00:24:46,726我认为我们可以把它们留在那里。
37600:24:46,726 --> 00:24:48,802只做个象征性的姿势就可以了。
37700:24:48,802 --> 00:24:51,045瑞秋！ 那是借书卡！
37800:24:53,006 --> 00:24:57,029剪，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪……
37900:24:57,029 --> 00:25:01,743知道吗，如果你们仔细听，你们会听到上千的商家在尖叫。
38000:25:04,601 --> 00:25:06,516欢迎来到现实的世界。
38100:25:06,516 --> 00:25:09,348糟透了，但你会喜欢的！
38200:25:16,989 --> 00:25:19,105好，就到这。
38300:25:19,105 --> 00:25:20,366你要睡在沙发上吗？
38400:25:20,366 --> 00:25:22,671不，我要回家。
38500:25:22,671 --> 00:25:24,923- 你没事吧？- 还好。
38600:25:25,989 --> 00:25:28,557嗨，看我在地板上发现什么？
38700:25:29,954 --> 00:25:31,688什么？
38800:25:31,688 --> 00:25:33,713那是保罗的手表。
38900:25:33,713 --> 00:25:36,164放回原地就好了。
39000:25:37,729 --> 00:25:41,425- 好。晚安，各位。- 晚安。
39100:25:49,389 --> 00:25:50,879嗯……
39200:25:52,089 --> 00:25:54,503- 对不起。- 不，不，不，走开-- 吃吧，我不饿。
39300:25:54,503 --> 00:25:57,318- 分开？- 行。
39400:26:00,834 --> 00:26:04,649你大概不知道我在高中时，
39500:26:04,649 --> 00:26:07,169肯定能迷死你。
39600:26:08,153 --> 00:26:10,037我知道。
39700:26:10,037 --> 00:26:12,651你知道？ 哦……
39800:26:12,928 --> 00:26:16,492我总想你认为我不过是莫妮卡的书呆子哥哥。
39900:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,190没错。
40000:26:22,761 --> 00:26:29,549你是否认为如果抛开其他不好的因素，
40100:26:29,914 --> 00:26:34,980我能偶尔约你出去吗？有时？有可能？
40200:26:34,980 --> 00:26:39,361好，或许吧……
40300:26:39,361 --> 00:26:48,272或许我会的……
40400:26:51,829 --> 00:26:54,209- 晚安。- 晚安。
40500:27:07,673 --> 00:27:09,326回头见……
40600:27:10,837 --> 00:27:14,263等等，你怎么了？
40700:27:15,892 --> 00:27:18,632我刚“抓住了勺子”！
40800:27:26,649 --> 00:27:30,147- 我真不敢相信我的耳朵。- 我真不敢相信我的耳朵。
40900:27:30,147 --> 00:27:33,305- 我说你有一个……- 我说你有一个……
41000:27:33,305 --> 00:27:34,919你有完没完？
41100:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,906- 我的老毛病又犯了？- 没错！
41200:27:38,404 --> 00:27:40,634我是说你有一个不错的屁股，
41300:27:40,634 --> 00:27:43,198但不是个了不起的屁股。
41400:27:43,198 --> 00:27:45,964它又没跳起来咬过你，你怎么知道不是了不起。
41500:27:45,964 --> 00:27:48,122只是想象。
41600:27:49,388 --> 00:27:52,232谁要喝咖啡？
41700:27:53,268 --> 00:27:55,905你煮的还只是端过来而已？
41800:27:55,905 --> 00:27:59,504- 端来而已。- 好，好，给我来杯咖啡。
41900:27:59,504 --> 00:28:02,401孩子们，新梦……我在拉斯维加斯。
42000:28:02,401 --> 00:28:05,368嗨，小姐？加点咖啡？
42100:28:05,368 --> 00:28:08,982嗯，劳驾，请递给那个人？
42200:28:09,289 --> 00:28:10,640去啊。
42300:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,493谢谢。
42400:28:12,493 --> 00:28:14,351对不起。好，拉斯维加斯。
42500:28:14,351 --> 00:28:20,770我在拉斯维加斯……我是丽莎明妮莉……
